Thayne’s fascination with the Butterfly began early in life when he became fascinated with a beautiful creature that miraculously transforms from an earthbound ugly insect, to a flying, free beautiful creature. From ages 8 to 14, Thayne was being sexually abused by neighbors and members of his church. Threatened to abuse his younger sister, violence towards his family and using ecclesiastical threats of going to hell, young Thayne knew he could tell nobody of what was happening to him, but somehow, he had to find a way to communicate to the world what was happening to him, to be able to tell his story, without telling his story.

“The Life of a Butterfly” is a musical composition that Thayne composed when he was only 12 years old at the request of his piano teacher who encouraged her students to submit compositions in a statewide music contest. Little did Thayne know, how important his song “The Life of a Butterfly” would be to not only his survival, but a song of hope and triumph to those who understand the meaning and transformation which occurs in the song.

The song itself begins musically in the caterpillar phase and the audience can hear the little caterpillar growing, eating and entering the magical chrysalis. Upon emerging from the chrysalis, the butterfly takes flight as you hear a whimsical dance of musical notes on the piano mimicking the flight of the butterfly. Three times during the composition, Thayne takes his hands and dramatically bashes a handful of random notes which represents a child trying to catch the butterfly in a net, a cat trying to swat at the butterfly with his paw, and then the last crash represents when the butterfly is unfortunately hit by a Mack truck and dies and goes to heaven. At the end, you hear the little spirit of the butterfly leave its body and ascend to the sky one final time to meet its maker.

Thayne performed “The Life of a Butterfly” often for friends, family and classmates each time telling the funny story which would make people laugh, and yet Thayne was really telling his story of abuse. Thayne saw himself as a caterpillar being abused by pedophiles and considered himself ugly. The smashing of the piano keys were actually representative of physical and sexual abuse, with the final crash being the death of Thayne’s childhood and final descent was his imagined death at the hands of his abusers, where he would ascend to heaven one final time. Remarkable in music composition and chalk full of emotion, The Life of a Butterfly song was an ingenious way to tell the world what was happening to him, giving Thayne an emotional release, and a way to protect his secret while also telling his story…pretty miraculous for a little boy.

Abandoned for decades, it wasn’t until Thayne’s last suicide attempt in the summer of 2011 that the music and memories surrounding “The Life of a Butterfly” came flooding back to him as he worked with his therapists and psychologists to help repair the severe psychological damage that had been inflicted on Thayne as a young boy. Today, “The Life of a Butterfly” represents an anthem to Thayne, one of growth, freedom and personal transformation. Thayne no longer “dies” at the end of the song….but rather lives a massive, abundantly happy life as a transformed butterfly, himself.

The early fascination of the transformation of a butterfly parallels perfectly, the growth that an abused person has in overcoming the trauma and mental health challenges that develop from abuse. Let’s take it one step further, the transformation of a butterfly actually reflects the symbolic metamorphosis of the human experience, with the caterpillar representing the infant/child phase of life, the chrysalis being the world and the human experience of positive and negative life events, and then finally the emergence of an emotionally healthy and abundantly happy adult.